Instead, I'm just going to say...I'm back. I've been through a lot recently, and I'll go through even more before it's all said and done. But, writing is not just something I do. It's who I am. It's my outlet, my release, my therapy. So I'll be here... Writing.
I'm not going to keep you long this time. But before I sign off, I want to share a couple thoughts...and lessons learned...from my recent hiatus.
"It's the end of the world as we know it."
That phrase often indicates that a disastrous situation is about to befall all those we know and love. What I'm learning is this...that phrase simply means change is coming. Sure, it's hard. It sucks. But in the end, it really is the end of the world as we know it, because things are different. It doesn't have to be a bad thing. Get through it. Learn from it. And be a better person because of it.
"Good people sometimes do bad things."
People make mistakes. It's a fact. Humans are extremely imperfect creatures. But mistakes don't define who we are...Not if we learn from them. I have made my fair share of mistakes. Hell, I've probably made YOUR share of mistakes too. And for a long time, I didn't think of consequences. But, now...I have learned from them. I'm paying for my mistakes...but those mistakes are not who I am.
"True friends are rare, cherish them."
In times of trials and tribulations, we learn who people really are...what they are really made of. Those who claim to be friends, sometimes disappear from your life completely. Those who know you, truly know you, will still be there no matter how hard things get. Some will surprise you...and not in a good way. All you can do is accept the fact that some people were never really the friends you thought they were. And, the ones who stick by you...they can be counted as your true friends.
"Nothing is worth losing it all."
In the darkest of times, we tend to grasp at the faintest hint of light. As misguided as it may be...as good as it may seem at the time...we need to have the ability to step back and look at the bigger picture. We have to think about the second and third order effects of our actions. A desperate situation, and a short term relief of that pain, is not worth losing everything in the long run. Prioritize what matters to you, and live your life to protect that, always. It's a hard lesson to learn...but probably one of the most important I've learned so far.
"Honesty is the best policy."
I've spent much of my adult life telling those I love and care about exactly what they want to hear in order to protect their feelings. If I thought that they would be upset in the slightest, I would tell them what they needed to hear to stop that from happening. It came with a cost. Sins if omission eventually turned to flat out lies...even at the cost of my own happiness, my own sense of self. As hard as it is to live through right now, I'm learning that the hard truth up front sure as hell beats the damage that years of lies can cause...regardless of how well intended one is when omitting details, telling half truths, or straight up lying. Honesty is not only the best policy...it can be a life saver.
So to wrap things up, for now...I've made mistakes, and I'll make more. I've made apologies...and I have more to make. My life as I know it is over. But instead of treating that like the end of my world...I am going to treat it as a new beginning. I can't do it alone. I'm getting the help I need… Both professionally, and from those true friends I talked about earlier. And it's not just lip service. Because… In the end, success in life isn't measured by how high one has climbed, but by how far one has pulled himself out of the depths. I hope you join me for my climb back up from the bottom.
Everyday is a new day. And I'm going to spend each one living my life right.
Sarge,
Out
