The truth is, we all tend to live in our own little worlds. But the mobile technology component, that's just a small part of the problem. Man is supposed to be a social creature. Somehow in the history of mankind the 'social' aspect of our being has changed to the point where it's almost lost. By definition, 'social' is:
so·cial
[soh-shuhl]
adjective
Under most circumstances, I don't care one way or another if you are nose deep in your phone in public. That's one less annoying person I have to try not to make eye contact with, and when I do....there's the awkward head nod/half smile thing....which is returned with nothing but a blank stare anyway! At which point I want to throw heavy things at their heads.
1.
pertaining to, devoted to, or characterized by friendly companionship or relations: a social club.
2.
seeking or enjoying the companionship of others; friendly;sociable; gregarious.
3.
of, pertaining to, connected with, or suited to polite or fashionable society: a social event.
4.
living or disposed to live in companionship with others or in a community, rather than in isolation: People are social beings.
5.
of or pertaining to human society, especially as a body divided into classes according to status: social rank.
I think from everything I've seen in this world, MAYBE one of those definitions works for mankind these days. There is definitely a social rank system in this world. For the most part, those who observe it...are really making up for something else missing in their lives.
I know...by now, you're probably thinking...that I need to get to the point. Fine...let's get to it, then.
First of all, I'm going to address technology's role in the death of Social Man.
I'm not going to lie to you. I am, admittedly, addicted to my phone. It is my connection to the world...to my friends and family. It has my music on it for while I'm driving. I can pull up Netflix and watch my favorite shows while I'm relaxing at the pool. As a matter of fact, I'm typing this blog entry on a mobile device right now. Yeah... I am completely attached to my mobile gadgets.
The thing is, I'm fully aware of...and acknowledge my addiction. There are others out there that are with me. That said, I try to control the addiction in situations when it's either inappropriate or unsafe. (Granted, your definition of unsafe and mine may differ greatly!) Still, I try to control my addiction.
Under most circumstances, I don't care one way or another if you are nose deep in your phone in public. That's one less annoying person I have to try not to make eye contact with, and when I do....there's the awkward head nod/half smile thing....which is returned with nothing but a blank stare anyway! At which point I want to throw heavy things at their heads.
My problem with the mobile addiction is when I'm doing 65 miles an hour on a four lane highway, and the Escalade next to me suddenly drifts over into my lane....on top of me. After slamming my brakes and dodging a 6,000 pound stray bullet, I look at the driver with my "angry eyes." Of course, they are too busy to notice that they almost just made a Sarge Pancake...because they are chatting away on the phone! Yep...that urge to throw things comes real fast in that moment.
Other times, that technology turns out to be a danger only to ourselves. How many of us have seen Internet videos of some poor idiot walking down the street, face buried in their phone....and they fall into a fountain, or through an open manhole in the sidewalk? In my opinion...there aren't enough! I could watch those things all day! But, seriously....what's so important that you HAVE to disregard everything else in the world around you? I mean, was that text worth taking a nose dive into a public fountain in the middle of a crowded mall? I don't know....but I enjoyed watching it...over and over. If you happen to live in a cave and have never seen it, go ahead....have a chuckle. http://youtu.be/bGpVpsaItpU
It's not only technology that dictates all of our time and attention. There are a LOT of people out there, that just live in their own world. I don't know how it happens...I don't know where the disconnect occurs...but there's something that happens in some people's brains that causes them to completely disregard the world around them. They aren't actively rude. They aren't mean by nature. They just really don't seem to be aware that other people exist around them. And it can be completely maddening.
Another example...that, sadly takes place in the car, again...happened the other morning on my way to work. I was doing my normal 75 miles an hour in the center lane of a three lane highway. I had other cars all around me, and was just going with the flow of traffic. That is, until I found my forward progress stalled by a slow moving BMW in front of me. Frustrated because I couldn't go around this car with all the other vehicles around me, I waited until a break in the traffic allowed me to pass. As I passed this slow moving BMW, I glanced over to see who was so oblivious that they didn't realize that they were literally being passed left and right. There she was...leaned over to the center of her car, with the rear view mirror turned towards her....applying her eye liner as she drove 50 miles an hour down the highway! I'm not talking about glancing in the mirror for a second in between moments of actually driving her car. NO....this brilliant asset to society had both hands on her FACE, staring in the rear view! I am still astounded by this.
OK, so let's assume that this lapse in reality occurred because the woman in question was alone in her car. Though I don't agree with it, I guess I can see how being isolated in one's car can make them feel like there's no one else around. But what happens in these people's brains when they are in a a social setting and surrounded by other people, face to face...and they still can't see past their own little world? This can be even more mind boggling than when someone is distracted by their phone.
Imagine, if you will, a man on vacation with his family. They are enjoying the Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal Studios theme park in Orlando. The kids wanted to get souvenir Wands from the wand cart...so Dad is there helping them pick their wands. As he is holding a wand in his hand, a woman walks up. She see the wand he is holding....and proceeds to remove it from his hands, and show it to her own kid. Yep...true story. I was there...because I was that Dad. Now...let's take this a step further and explain that I am 6'6" tall and weigh a good 250 pounds. I'm kind of hard to miss. When I said, "Excuse me," and tried to take the wand back....she looked as if I had suddenly appeared out of no where and was trying to steal her wand. She literally told me, "I was looking at that." I couldn't do anything...I was completely at a loss for words. I found myself turning...and just walking away.
What can you do when someone honestly didn't realize you existed in the moment they disrupted your life? Nothing. That's what. Because you can't fix that in people. We have become a completely self centered people for the most part. It seems to me that it's all about "What's in it for me?" or "How does this effect my life?" There's not much thought about others. We, as a people, don't think about the effect things have on those around us. Hell, as I've shown, we don't even NOTICE those around us half the time.
So the question is....what do we do about it?
I say there's not much we can do about changing others. This is an issue we have to deal with in ourselves. It's something that won't change until we take a moment to look at what's going on around us.
Detach from your mobile devices for a few minutes. Many states have bans on the use of hand held devices while driving. Let's just put the phones down while we are behind the wheel. If you have to have your phone active at all times....there's a plethora of tech gadgets out there that allow us to still use our phones hand free at 90 miles an hour. When some one's trying to talk to you face to face, put the phone down. Whatever text just came in, can wait a few minutes. Let's put the human interaction back into being social creatures. Texting and social media are great. But, there's nothing like a face to face conversation to feel connected.
Detach from your mobile devices for a few minutes. Many states have bans on the use of hand held devices while driving. Let's just put the phones down while we are behind the wheel. If you have to have your phone active at all times....there's a plethora of tech gadgets out there that allow us to still use our phones hand free at 90 miles an hour. When some one's trying to talk to you face to face, put the phone down. Whatever text just came in, can wait a few minutes. Let's put the human interaction back into being social creatures. Texting and social media are great. But, there's nothing like a face to face conversation to feel connected.
Let's open our eyes and think about the person next to us from time to time. Hold the door for the person walking into the building behind you. Saying something as simple as 'excuse me' when you accidentally bump into the guy in front of you while waiting in line to order your burrito at Chipotle is not only the polite thing to do...it doesn't take any effort. Think about it...if the roles were reversed, you'd probably be annoyed to say the least if they ignored that they were stepping all over you.
I guess the Golden Rule really does apply. But it's not just that we treat others the way we want to be treated. Take it a step further and respond the way you'd like to be responded to. We've lost the instinct to be kind to one another. The words "Thank you" only take a couple seconds and no effort at all. Yet many of us treat them as if it's a bother to say them.
All in all, I think it only takes a little time and not much effort to step outside ourselves, and treat each other with some civility. Take a moment to notice the people that exist around you. Share a kind word...it may just make some one's day. Maybe, stepping out of our own little worlds can go a long way to changing the way we see things.
Sarge,
Out
I totally agree! In some countries, where cell phones are more prevelant than they are in the US, it is an unwritten rule NOT to touch your cell phone during a meal or in a restaurant. :-) I will be putting my phone and ipad down and enjoy my kids a little bit more today. Thanks Sarge!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for putting my thoughts into words. And much better than I probably could, might I add. :) Of course, all of this taken into consideration would probably make my current job a little easier. The ability to empathize is becoming a lost art.
ReplyDeleteI do empathize towards your frustration and do not disagree that I have been in the same situation. Praying with all my might not to make the other person eat their hat with their teeth... breath control... in with good... out with bad... not breaking anyone's credit cards over their heads on the way to the hospital. However, society is doomed to lose all consideration towards each other as technology evolves and our isolation bubbles grow greater than our bubble of personal space. Shoot, I believe even now in Russia people have increased their conversation space from 12 inches to a full 24.
ReplyDeleteTherefore, I disagree; like Tyler Durden, I say let the chips fall where they may lay. In other words lets embrace that frustration and devolve back into what man is best capable of - dot dot dot - throwing sticks and stones.... AT EACH OTHER. This is also the quickest way to embrace Seneca's great ethic of reciprocity - "expect from others what you did to them". As one should. Lets say I throw a rock at your big head for illegally walking across the street whilst chatting on your updated idiot box... Then I would expect the same if... again... if I was being inconsiderate like yourself. Therefore, drawing upon my own experiences of what I did to you I would never attempt your act unless I was the Alpha Male of my local street gang.
So, the point of my comment is that this goes beyond technology, technology is just another jumping off point. Simply, another excuse for people to ignore their surroundings, crawl into their isolation chambers, and pay no mind to that lady getting mugged on the street. I say, lets embrace that frustration... take it back... feel free to tell the person that every morning riding the Number 66 bus from Com Ave to Harvard Square they are being rude when they are jumping the queue or not giving their seat up for a senior citizen. The fact is... in order for society to work we need laws... I can't believe I said that (I mean my favorite muppet was Animal). Let me clarify: I am not talking about laws on paper... I am talking about societal, moral, and ethical behavioral laws. Laws of the pack that keep the Beta's in check. So really what I am talking about is maybe Alpha's and Omega's need to stop being scared and start nipping the "Puppy That Lost Its Way" in the arse. And in reading this comment; I may have just made you all dumber.