It was 2014. A not so young man was getting ready for his 20 year High School reunion. He was nervous and a bit excited all at the same time. He was excited, because in the last 20 years he had come a long way in his life. His life was...well, hell...he was just glad he was still alive at this point. You see, he wasn't the most popular kid in the school. He had been kind of a misfit....got along with everyone, but didn't fit into any particular clique. And furthermore...he hadn't seen many of these people in 10-20 years. While he wasn't afraid that something would go wrong...it was always hard to step into an event wondering if anyone would even remember who he was. For a guy like him....going to a 20 year High School reunion was like that young man in 1994 volunteering to be 'it' in dodge ball.
Life is a strange thing. When we graduate high school and prepare to enter the real world in one way or another, we all have visions and ideas of what our 'grown up' selves will be. I would venture to say that not many of us get exactly what we had in mind. I spent about a year and a half running through just about every crappy job an 18 year old just out of high school could have. I joined the Army with the intention of 'doing my 4 years' and getting out. I just 'needed to find some direction.'
I retire from the Army in 16 months.
So, clearly, I didn't live out the plan I had in mind. At least not quite. At some point in the last 20 years, I realized that the reason my life didn't quite turn out the way I imagined....is because I had no idea what I wanted my life to be. And honestly, that's OK. It took a long time to realize what I wanted to do with my life. There were a lot of factors that came into play before, during and after that 'decision' was made.
I once had dreams of being a Hollywood actor. I joined the drama club in high school. Granted, I did that just to impress a girl....but it was enough to make me realize I loved being creative. The fact that I was a big nerd and had a ridiculously overactive imagination helped fuel that creativity. I mean, what Dungeons and Dragons geek hasn't written his own "Hobbit" in his own head...right?
A friend of mine had a dream of being a marine biologist. He had an almost unhealthy fascination with sharks. He knew damn near everything there was to know about sharks. I was sure he would be the next Cousteau. I got in touch with him a few years back. He works as an emergency response dispatcher. Not quite the shark hunter he dreamed of...but he was good with it. He likes what he does, and he was happy. Isn't that all we really want in life....to be happy?
And that's the key. Being happy. I walked into that reunion nervous as all hell. I felt like that kid getting ready for prom all over again. As soon as I walked in, I saw one of my friends from the drama club. He and I laughed, and caught up...well, as much as you can catch up on the last 20 years in about 5 minutes of conversation. But it was good to see JJ again. That felt good....maybe it wasn't going to be so bad. Then I made the rounds. Table after table saw me...and I was greeted with smiles, handshakes, and hugs.
I don't know, for sure, how many were genuine and how many were just being polite. I could definitely tell a few were legitimately glad to see me and everyone else there. That's just how they always have been. So when Melissa jumped up from her seat and hugged me, I knew she wasn't just putting on a good show. She was always one of the nicest people I knew. And at this point in my life....good genuine people are what I need around me.
There's a feeling you get when you see someone that you truly care about for the first time after what feels like a lifetime. Things around you slow down and that moment lingers for a bit longer than time normally allows. I found myself staring, almost in disbelief, as I made eye contact with two of my best friends from High School. And best friend doesn't really describe what Selena and Renee were to me. I was just reconnected with family!
In school, there are the jocks...the band nerds...the drama geeks...the stoners...and, especially in MY school, the rednecks. I belonged to exactly none of those...but got along with almost all of them. My "clique" was the misfits. Yes, I was in drama club, but even there I still didn't feel like I fit.
My misfits, however...we fit. We fit in with each other because we didn't fit anywhere else. We leaned on each other when times were hard. And for high school misfits, it felt like times were always hard. My misfits looked past the bleached blond hair, mismatched shoes, and year round trench coat and saw...ME. That's how it was. We just saw each other.
So 20 years later, that feeling was still there. It was like I was reunited with my long lost sisters. It was amazing. And while I was enjoying the feeling of catching up with old friends, something occurred to me.
It was in times like this that we see how far we've come.
I have traveled the world. I've been to war and come back a changed man. I've seen horrors that haunt me still and always will. And I've seen sights so beautiful I have literally lost my breath to behold them. But even after all that, it took going home to see how far I had come....how far everyone had come.
We grow. We change. Priorities shift from being friends with the right group...simply so we fit in, to providing for our families and treasuring our truest friends. The ultra skinny cheerleader that wouldn't give the chubby kids the time of day, now finds family more important than a size zero waistline. The "cool kid" who made fun of my weird hair and shoes, was genuinely interested in my plans for writing in the future. The long haired saxophone player who was the life of the party....was still the long haired saxophone player who was the life of the party. Some things just don't NEED to change!
Granted, that asshole in high school who liked to scream "wooo!" for no apparent reason other than he liked his own voice...that guy still likes his own voice. Too much. I guess we don't ALL mature the same way, even the ones who need to the most. And... That guy... is even more annoying 20 years later.
All in all, I was nervous for no reason. 20 years is a long time, and everyone grows...for the most part. True friends are going to be true friends no matter how much time passes. Cliques fade as we grow. If I could tell the 1994 me anything, it would be these two things...."Get to REALLY know her before you pop the question...and...relax. In the long run, everything's gonna be alright."
Sarge,
Out
Luke....what a sweet endearing blog. I hope that we can all get together again and hang out soon. We don't have to wait until another reunion to do this. We were the "best" misfits ever and I loved all of us!!!
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